Today marks the first day of "May Week" at my school. May Week, also known to many as "let's be competitive in the most retarded ways possible week," is supposed to be the "most fun school week of the year" but it ends up just being the most humiliating.

It's a good thing I was in detention all day today; there was an eating contest at lunch for May Week and I've been trying to eat healthy. Had I not had detention, my friends most likely would have tried to talk me into participating.

Premise for the eating contest: The name of the contest is "Gain the most weight in the least amount of time." Seriously. A huge table is set up in the middle of the lunch room, covered with snacks. Hamburgers, fries, Hostess and Little Debbie cakes of all types, ice cream, pudding, soda, you get the picture. Before you start eating, they measure your weight. Then, they give you ten minutes to eat as much as you possibly can, and afterward, they weigh the competitors again, and the person who gained the most weight is the winner. Doesn't that just sound AWESOME?

A couple of girls burst into the detention room when the whole thing was over, and told of how one of the boys in the competition puked all over himself halfway through the contest.